Saturday, January 14, 2012

because I don't want to talk to THEM...

I had two tabs open with recipes to make for dinner... And what does this smarty do? I fucking closed them both.

And I specifically remember thinking "I don't need these open anymore."

I am an idiot.

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I am so sick of counting to 3.

I'm pretty sure if I got $1 for every time I counted to three, I'd be fucking rich by now.

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You know what's ridiculous?

There are still areas around where I live that are still flooded from Tropical Storm Lee that blew through here in September.

It just rained the other day and there's a mini-pond in the cow pasture behind my house.

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I wonder what was going through the brain of the person who first took coffee beans and made coffee using them...

Or the person that first ate a banana... that I would think would have been something like "hmmm... I'm going to pick that yellow phallic thing hanging from that tree and put it in my mouth. Maybe I should see if I can peel the outside off... maybe there's something creamy and delicious inside."

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What is it with Ke$ha and glitter?

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Sometimes I wonder if my socks got mixed up with my son's...

He may only be 7, but his feet aren't much smaller than mine.

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I don't know why, but some things my bff and I used to say in high school just popped into my head.

They still make me giggle.

Like we would "fly a kite" every month... because we were "gorillas"... but we really wished we were boys...

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The husband read my earlier blog entries and reminded me that I did get a birthday present last year... it was tickets to go see NKOTBSB.

How could I forget that?!

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Sometimes you come across someone that initially you think could be a good friend...

And then after getting to know them a little, you learn you're better off keeping your distance.

And then they turn out to be absolutely fucking insane!!!

Like seriously, certifiable!

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As I listen to Pandora, while making dinner, I'm realizing that I really like Flo Rida.

Who knew?!

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The name Uma sounds weird to me.

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My son just yelled at me "I don't like the chicken with nah..."

That sent the husband off and running.

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I'm such a great mom... I just informed my son who refuses to eat chicken bathed in melted cheese and is screaming at me like he's a little girl that if he continues to scream like that I will take out his vocal cords, cook them up, cover them in cheese and make him eat them... AND HE WILL ENJOY IT!!!!!!

Yup... Mother of the year right here.

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My mouth is broken...

I was telling the husband to put something in my junk drawer, but it came out DRUNK drawer...

Yes. I have a special drawer to keep all my drunk people in.

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Do my children really hate food/eating so much that every single freaking meal has to be a fight?

And those attitudes of theirs... I promise the day I snap, it will not be pretty around here.

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The husband has football on... and I'm not mature enough to be even listening to it.

Just the word "penetration" sends me into a fit of giggles.

And "sack".

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Maybe the Cleveland Browns are called that because they're always "penetrating" each other...

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I'd like my 18 yr old body to switch places with my 33 yr old body... but I'd like my life to stay just the same.

*sigh*

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I am sooooo un-motivated...

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So, the husband just said to the girl child, who wants a piggy back ride to her bed... "are you going to get on me or what?"

smh

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